Wednesday, January 19, 2011

what not to drink

I thought I would change it up this time and write about a whiskey that you should stay far, far away from. It's known as Chymes Canadian whiskey, but I know it as gasoline mixed with goat piss and horse semen. Yes I do know what all three of those taste like separately ;)

On a serious note, do stay away from this drink. I am a regular whiskey drinker and I can safely say that this is most certainly not whiskey. I think it tastes more like how isopropyl alcohol would taste. There is no flavor to this drink except pure alcohol. So you might be thinking that it tastes more like a cheap vodka? Wrong! I would suck down a whole bottle of Skol vodka before I touched this shit again. Oh, did I mention that you are guaranteed to get a hang over? You are! Don't bother making plans for the day after because you are going to spend it curled up in the fetal position in a dark closet hoping that the pain goes away. You will also be contemplating suicide during this time, so make sure that you lock up any guns, knives, and doors to high places. Maybe now you're thinking that this stuff can't be as bad as I am making it out to be and that you are going to try it just to be sure? Good luck buddy because I don't expect to hear from you after making the journey down that rough road. Most people call it the road to suicide. 5 star is the only "whiskey" that even compares to this garbage and I am pretty sure they stopped making 5 star. Probably because it's a biohazard. I'm surprised they they haven't done the same thing with Chymes because it's just as bad. I couldn't live with myself knowing that I make something so toxic for people to ingest. The monsters that brew Chymes must be trying to kill all of the people that buy it because it is not something that should be ingested by any living organism. On that note, I finished a whole handle of it. didn't want to let my $15 go to waste.

21 comments:

  1. good to see a new update. welcome back

    following

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  2. yeah no big ol titties, but great face. chymes sounds bad, sounds like something u should leave outside

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  3. Johnny Walker Red Label has a similar effect on me. I can't stand the smell of most blended whiskies.

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  4. Thanks for the heads up bro following you

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  5. Don't worry, I've got a plan. Did you even get a new roommate? If not I request that you turn my room into a baitin' dungeon.

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  6. First the Canadians fool us with the bacon, now this.

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  7. great blog followed! check out my blog at www.samboism.blogspot.com

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  8. I've never had a Canadian whiskey that didn't suck. They're all swill. Anyways, nice blog! Following :)

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  9. ..........but I know it as gasoline mixed with goat piss and horse semen. Yes I do know what all three of those taste like separately ;), now that is informative and fecking funny.

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  10. well I will definitely stay away from it now.

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  11. I've had cheap tequila once and it was an experience similar to what you have described. Good to know what whiskey to avoid...

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  12. I'm glad I haven't tried that one yet..... thanks.

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  13. HA. i will never drink again. ever. Here in Thailand Johnny Walker seems to have a monoply. but as for me id rather spend my money on extravagant meals.

    Ill keep my eye on you...

    www.thaichickenbuffalo.blogspot.com

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  14. hahahhah. I come from a unique place where this stuff is sacred to a generation of locals. I grew up on it.

    I cant say that I disagree with any of your comments and even though the wretched hangover is completely unavoidable even after having drunk chymes at least 75 times in my life. My hair stands on end just at the sight of the orange and black label. I still cant resist the stuff when its offered to me. Please note Chymes is also bound to cause blackouts and unprovoked aggression.

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  15. ++++ Chymes is not whiskey is it shit . Do not buy this ever !!!!!!!!!!!

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